One of the many happiest days of our lives...

On Sunday, July 11, our little family finally got to come home.

I have so many mixed emotions right now.  This adoption process has been one of the most spiritual and emotional experiences I've had.  I know the Lord was guiding each step we took, and He was guiding everyone in the process.  I can't believe that after so many years, (and more recently months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds) I'm finally a mom.

Am I teary-eyed because I can't believe it or because I'm exhausted?  Really, either one is possible right now!  

The actual placement was very difficult and very emotional.  Mike and I arrived at the LDS Family Services office at 5:45 and spent some time waiting.  It was hard, but we didn't mind.  After all, a few minutes is nothing compared to a several years.  Besides that, we wanted to give Katie as much time as she needed.  It was hard for us not to think about her and what she must be thinking and feeling.  We didn't enjoy having our greatest gift come at her expense.  We wanted to be so happy, but there was so much sadness mixed with it.  I think it was very bittersweet for Katie, too.  She has been so amazing, and we admire and appreciate her so much.

The rest of the days have been a little surreal.  I have never devoted so much thought to anyone--not even me!  I'm always thinking about little Eli and wondering if he's eating enough or too much, or if I'm holding him too much or not enough, should I burp him longer, and all kinds of crazy worries that I was always told about but never understood until now.  It's so tiring!  Even when everything's going great like it usually is, I'm still exhausted from so much thinking!

Right now I'm just trying to soak in every moment--even my sleepiness and his crying :)  Let motherhood begin...